As I take on with my life after your shattering demise, I realized that I have been forced upon with responsibilities. And while I continue to take care of the irksome office works and files and procuring all the relevant documents for the same, I found out that some of them were insufficent and some missing!
This drove me to conduct an inherent search of the lost papers and tokens. Every possible box and bag opened, its contents tossed and turned about and each document scanned for the nature of its contents. It was painful. It made me feel like an intruder in your personal space. Like some sort of a spy or a low life detective, rummaging through your stuff, scattering it around.
While I ransacked your papers I realized that not only am i searching for the needed documents but also i am dredging for similarities between us. Wishing with every word I utter and step I take I am duplicating you.
But moments later it dawned on me that its not about being you. Its about redefining myself, rather refining myself. It was kinda like a soul search, except that it was not. It was about who i was and who i am now And who I have to be. From denial to anger, bargain, depression and finally adjustment I have come a long way. I am no longer the person I was 10 months back. Although I am not entirely sure that I like that fact.
I am no different then others. All of us engaged in some quest or the other. Some search for dreams and those who know theirs pursue them. Some search for peace and that little secluded happy place in the back of their mind. Some look for hope among broken dreams. And some delve into the past and search for lost dreams wishes and people.
Its just about picking the right quest.
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